Nice Guys Finish First!

I miss Tony Dungy.  When Mr. Dungy retired as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts after the 2008/2009 season the team and their fans were understandably saddened.  Coach Dungy was the winningest coach in Colts history, won a Super Bowl there, and was arguably among the best ever to coach in the NFL.   I miss Tony Dungy, and I’m not even a Colts fan.  I miss him because Coach Dungy was the best example we had that Nice Guys Finish FIRST.  And in the world of coaching, especially among youth sports, we desperately need that example now more than ever.

Organizations like Little League baseball and Pop Warner football were originally created with the admirable ambition of enhancing the sandlot experience for kids by offering structure, uniforms, equipment and endless numbers of nice guys who volunteered to coach and teach kids how to play the game.  Somewhere along the line these original friendly, grass roots programs transformed into today’s intensely competitive sports culture in which the kids are treated like…well, like players instead of kids.  And as that intensity has grown it seems like those “Nice Guy” coaches of years gone by have become an antiquity, or at least an oppressed minority, yielding to the zealotry of coaches and organizers who seem obsessed with treating youth sports programs like a major league franchise instead of a community service.  That wouldn’t be so bad, if only they modeled their “franchises” after Coach Dungy’s approach. 

Professional Nice Guy

In the testosterone-driven world of competitive football – where the coaching archetype has historically been a merciless, abusive, intimidating character – Coach Dungy stood out as an extraordinary exception.   He was guided by his strong Christian values and by his own personal belief that coaching is more about teaching than it is about intimidating or coercing.  He started with the assumption that his players were human beings who wanted to win, wanted to learn, wanted to avoid mistakes and wanted to be treated with respect.  Those assumptions – rather than fear – were Dungy’s motivational tools.  Cam Cameron, former coach of the Miami Dolphins, said this about Coach Dungy:  “(He) dispelled so many myths about the coaching business….that you had to be a yeller and a screamer to win.  You can be your own person, treat people with respect, be very demanding, but demanding in a way that doesn’t trample on people.”  Coach Dungy was truly a Nice Guy who Finished First.  It’s a shame that so many of today’s generation of youth coaches have ignored his model.

The National Alliance for Sports reports that 70 percent of kids quit playing league sports by age 13 — and never play them again. According to Michael Pfahl, executive director of the National Youth Sports Coaches Association, “The number one reason (why they quit) is that it stopped being fun.”  Without a return to “Nice Guy” volunteer coaching exemplified by Dungy, we are likely destined to continue suffering the disenchantment of kids and the outrage of their parents.

In Little League, Nice Guy Coaches Never Lose

Like many others I have volunteered as a youth coach; at last count for over 40 different sports teams.  Some of my teams were undefeated, some struggled to win just a couple of games, and the rest were somewhere in the middle. Regardless of the win/loss record, I always considered each season a success.  And that’s because I measured success not by the win/loss outcome, but by a more profound set of measurements. Consequently, as a Nice Guy coach, I could never really lose.

My team objectives were always the same:

1) Make this team the best youth sports experience each kid ever had.

2) Make it the best experience the parents ever had.

3) Make sure each player noticeably improves his skill level.

4) Make every player feel important.

5) Teach life lessons about teamwork and camaraderie.

6) Be competitive and win as many games as you can.

There was a simple logic to this.  I always thought of the families on my teams as “customers.”  Obviously they had all signed their kids up for a team sport with the hopes of having a good experience. And almost without exception the “good” experience they were looking for was exactly the same outcome described in my Nice Guy coaching objectives.  Therefore my Nice Guy objectives were 100% aligned with the “customer” objectives.  Of course I wanted to win the games, but even in a “losing” season success could be predominantly achieved if I met the other objectives.  These simple goals were “Dungy-esque” in spirit and guaranteed to produce happy customers.

Wanted: Nice Guy Coaches

The transformation of youth sports from the grass roots experience to the industrial machine it is today has been extensively debated.  We all worry about the physical impact on our kids due to multiple sports activities, and the emotional impact due to their hectic schedules.  But what’s been missing from that debate is the questioning of a youth sports leadership approach that seems increasingly insensitive and treats kids like commodities.  What impact is that having?  Not a very good one, by most observations.

I wonder why we tolerate this treatment of our littlest athletes.  Maybe it’s because we’ve conceded that there’s a lot more at stake now for the new coaching establishment.  People are investing significantly more time, energy and money in youth sports than ever before.  But Tony Dungy arguably had just as much at stake as the local peewee hockey and Little League coaches do.  And yet he successfully chose the Nice Guy path to coaching to produce an experience more rewarding than just winning games.  Don’t we think an 8-year-old 2^nd baseman deserves as much consideration as a 250lb millionaire linebacker?  I’ll bet Tony Dungy does.  That’s why I miss him.

For more about Tony Dungy go to the page titled “NFL Coaches Make Nice Guy History.”