Nice Guys Finish First!

Coach, mentor.

The Paterno supporters were initially more guarded in their response.  Perhaps many were waiting for more facts to come out, or were just simply in shock over the turn of events regarding a University and a man that was so respected and revered.  Maybe there wasn’t enough time to collect the thoughts that could sort out the contradiction of a man who stood as an icon for goodness, yet was now so suddenly being publicly debased.  But as the time passed, those voices of support began to emerge and grow louder.  And with the death of Joe Paterno, those that were initially silent, cautious or hesitant to say too much came out in force with much to say about the decades of Paterno’s contributions to thousands of players, students, colleagues and many others who had never even met the man.   

 Coach K speaks out   

One of the first to do so, both after the scandal and again immediately following Joe Paterno’s death, was Mike Krzyzewski, the head coach of Duke men’s basketball.  With his coaching longevity (over 30 years as head coach of Duke), his indisputable reputation for coaching the “right way,” and his victory this year that made him the winningest coach in major college basketball history (the same year in which Joe Paterno achieved that same milestone for football victories), “Coach K” is to college basketball what Joe Paterno was to college football.    

Coach K was one of the first to appear live on ESPN’s non-stop coverage of Paterno’s death, and he thanked them for their programming which was focusing reverently and almost exclusively on Paterno’s many accomplishments and contributions to society.  Coach K said he had been in tears earlier in the day, and during this interview, just thinking about how earlier reports leading up to his death had so one-sidedly characterized Coach Paterno as a culpable player in a scandal, with little to no focus on the immeasurable good that had been most of Paterno’s life.  Coach K was emotional in speaking about Paterno, almost defiant and bitter at times in having to speak in defense of a man for whom he thought the totality of his life record would need no defending.    

Ironically, Coach K had never even met Joe Paterno until last spring, when he agreed to be part of a TV show that featured him and Coach Paterno in a show titled, “Difference makers: Life lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski.”  But after just that one meeting, Coach K walked away amazed and impressed by a man who had stood the test of time for doing so much good for so many people.    

Voices of praise, and bitterness   

A life's work.

As other supportive voices of praise have continued to emerge, many of those voices carried a similar tone of regret and bitterness about the way Coach Paterno was treated these last two months.  Yet it should be noted, according to Joe Paterno’s son Jay, Coach Paterno himself expressed not one shred of bitterness, continuing only to convey love and gratitude toward his family and the Penn State community, right up until his last breath.   

So what are we to take from this dichotomy between last month’s voices of vilification and this week’s voices of adulation?    Well, there’s this much:  We need to remind ourselves that no human is a perfect being.  And we need to follow the Golden Rule that we will hold others to a standard that is no different than the one we ourselves would want to be held to.  That standard should be one of open mindedness, forgiveness and the right to be judged by the totality of one’s life work.    

In the case of Joe Paterno, it seems that the story regarding the sexual abuse allegation was no different than what Paterno originally said it was.  When Paterno was faced with this disturbing allegation, he did what he thought was right, reported it to others, and then in hindsight regretted that he wished he could have done more.  People can and will continue to judge that as being right or wrong.  But as that is being judged, and as some perhaps postulate that they themselves would have handled that one incident differently, it’s only fair to also ask if they themselves would extend that same comparison to the balance of their life’s work.  Given the longevity and steadiness of Joe Paterno’s record of positively impacting human lives, I think on balance most of us would have a hard time measuring up.    

Why JoePa mattered so much to so many    

Why he meant so much.

So why should we care this much about the life and death of Joe Paterno?  Personally, I never met Joe Paterno.  The closest connection I can claim is that my dad went to Brooklyn Prep High School as a freshman while Joe Paterno was a senior and star athlete there.  I remember being a young boy and sitting in our den on Saturday afternoons watching the Penn State football games with my dad.  Dad would tell me about Coach Paterno’s unique background – a Brooklyn boy, a Jesuit Catholic, an Ivy League man, an intellectual and a devotee of the Classics.  And Dad would boast how “Joe did it the right way,” and how Joe would never compromise values or academics to win football games, but would win football games nevertheless.     

I always listened to my dad, because he meant the world to me and was my role model.  He stood for the same values that Paterno espoused: integrity, honesty, faith, fairness and treating people with dignity, respect and kindness.  As I grew older, and after my dad passed away, I continued to recognize more similarities between the two men.  Two Brooklyn boys who believed in faith and humanity, and in winning the right way.    

It’s not necessary to have met someone or be personally connected to someone in order to be influenced and inspired by that someone.  But it is necessary for each of us to be influenced and inspired by someone; someone whose values you can respect, admire and strive to imitate.  To thousands of people young and old, students, teachers, parents and coaches – many of whom never even met the coach – Joe Paterno was such a role model and inspiration.  Some may find that curious.  But for those that felt that connection, JoePa offered them a standard of excellence and an example of life values that they could aspire to and live by.  We all need such a standard. 

We live in a world that often laments the erosion of basic human virtues.  We criticize the youth of our society for obsessing on social media and supporting the amorality of pop culture over the morality of traditional values.  Therefore we should be astonished – and delighted – at the story of Joe Paterno, an 85-year-old man who was beloved by thousands of 18,19 and 20-year-olds who claimed him as their beacon of righteousness and their model for core values.  Imagine that?  For that reason alone we should at least examine the full life of Joe Paterno with objectivity and curiosity.  But in doing so, we should afford Joe Paterno the same right that each of us would want; to be forgiven for our mistakes, and to be judged on the totality of our lives.  According to the thousands of voices emerging this week, Joe Paterno has earned at least that much, and would himself have afforded everyone else that much.   If we listen hard enough to these voices, we might learn how one man was able to connect with so many people of all ages and from all walks of life.  And we might come to understand why the life and death of Joe Paterno mattered so much to so many.